Friday, 27 February 2015


Two children sat on a log, talking.

They were young children, ten or eleven years old, and they were talking about toys.

“I had a doll,” the girl said. “She was so big.” She held out her hand, at almost waist height. “And she looked – just like a baby. A real one. If you saw her when it wasn’t too bright you’d think she was real.”

“So you played with her?” the boy asked idly. He bounced a green rubber ball idly between the tattered sneakers on his feet. The ball was torn and did not bounce very well. “Did you like it?”

“Of course I liked it,” the girl said. “I loved her. The doll, I mean. Her name was...” She hesitated, and looked quickly at the boy out of the corner of her eye, to see how he would take it. He merely continued bouncing the ball. “...Jill,” she said.

“Jill?” The boy glanced at her. “Why Jill?”

“From Jack and Jill,” the girl replied. “You know.”

“Oh.” The boy went back to bouncing his ball. It made a flat cracking noise each time it hit the ground. “Yes. What games did you play with her? Tea and cakes stuff?”

The girl shrugged. “I never liked playing at those things. No, she was a friend. I used to love talking to her, all the day, telling her everything I thought, all my secrets.”

“You had secrets?”

“Of course. Didn’t you? Doesn’t everybody?”

“Well, I don’t know. I never had any secrets that I can recall. So you loved her very much?”

“Yes,” the girl said firmly. “We loved each other very much. We pledged to give our lives for each other.” She glared at him, daring him to laugh.

He did not laugh. “Yes, well.” He gave up bouncing the ball and tossed it from hand to hand. “I’ll bet I can hit that tree with this from here,” he said.

The girl cocked her head and judged the distance to the tree. “I don’t think you can,” she said.

“Watch.” The boy stood up and threw the ball. It wavered through the air, the torn rubber making it wobble, but it made it most of the way to the tree before falling to the ground. It rolled to the fot of the tree and stopped against a root.

“Stupid ball,” the boy said. “If only it hadn’t been burst I’d have been able to hit the tree.”

“Never mind,” the girl told him. “You almost hit it anyway. You throw really well.”

“I got good practice,” the boy said. “They were training me to throw grenades.”

“You were in one of the armies?’ the girl asked.

“No,” the boy said, and sat down on the log again. “They were still training me when they let me go to the agency. And then I came to this place.” He picked up a pebble and tossed it after the ball. “I wish they’d let me join,” he said.

“Well, never mind,” the girl repeated. “Maybe when you’re older you can join and throw grenades.”

“No, the war will be all over by then.” The boy shook his head irritably. “My neighbour’s still in the fighting. He has a machine gun. He fires it.” He held up his arms. “Tatatatatatata.”

“Don’t do that,” the girl flinched. “I don’t like it.” Her lips trembled. “Please stop it.”

“What’s wrong?” But the boy put his arms down anyway. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s all right,” the girl said. “But don’t do it again. Please?”

“All right,” the boy promised. “I won’t.” He put his hands around a knee and leaned back as far as he could on the log. “So tell me about the doll...Jill.”

“What about her?” The girl broke a twig off the log and scraped designs in the dust. “I told you I loced her a lot,” she said defensively. “She was all I had for a friend.”

“Isn’t she still your friend?”

The girl looked at him. “Oh, she was. She was the best friend anyone could be.” She paused a moment and scrawled more designs in the dust. “She saved my life,” she said without looking up. “You can’t be a better friend than that.”

“She saved your life? How’s that?”

The girl twisted the twig in her hands. “One night,” she said at last, “one of the armies came to the village. They began going round from house to house, killing people. Their machine guns were going off...” she glanced quickly at the boy and away. “Like that.”

“Go on,” said the boy, after her silence had stretched out like a rubber band.

“My parents were at home,” she said. “My father was sick. He’d been ill for days, too ill to run. And my mother wasn’t going to leave him and escape. So it was only me.

“There was someone with the army, someone from the village. I knew him, he was a neighbour from down the street. We all used to call him Uncle. But he was taking the soldiers from house to house and telling them who lived where, so they knew whom to kill. He knew about how many people lived in which house. I saw him too, from the front window, standing outside houses when the soldiers went in to kill people. But he, himself, he never went in.

“My mother came to me as I was looking at the street through the window, too scared to move. ‘You’ve got to go,’ she said. ‘Run out through the back door, and keep running as far and as long as you can. Go!’ She said that and pushed me towards the back door.“

The boy stared at her with fascination. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t want to go, of course, but Mother pushed me as hard as she could. ‘You can get away,’ she said. ‘Someone has to.’ “ Then she looked at me as though she had forgotten something, and snatched Jill from my arms, because of course I was holding on to her. ‘Now go,’ she said. ‘Jill will take your place.’ “

“And you went?”

“Of course. What else could I do? She pushed me out of the back door and locked it. Before I could even cry I heard the soldiers. They were banging on the front door and shouting my father’s name, telling him to come out. And then they broke the door down, and I heard them...shooting.”

“They didn’t come looking for you.”

“No, because Uncle must have told them my parents had one daughter, and they shot Jill. They must have thought she was me. And then they set fire to the house.”

“What did you do?” the boy asked.

The girl shrugged and threw away the twig. “I ran, of course. I didn’t even know which way I was going. I ran until I couldn’t run, and then I walked until I couldn’t walk, and then I waited till I could run again. Then some people found me and I came here.” She looked at the boy. “Well, now you know about Jill. And why you shouldn’t make that awful noise.”

“I said I won’t do it again,” the boy said. “When I’m in the army I’ll find and punish those who did that to you.”

“I don’t even know who they were,” the girl said. “So how will you know?”

“I’ll find a way,” the boy said. “I’ll find out who did it, somehow.”

“Why? It’s not as though you have to. You aren’t my friend.”

“I’ll be your friend,” the boy said. “If you want.”

The girl considered his offer seriously.

“Yes,” she said. “I think I’d like that. I have no friends, you see.”

Copyright B Purkayastha 2015

Thursday, 26 February 2015

Saint Vladimir and the Vampire Vavavoom

And so the King Bennet, heavy with the ennui of his days, said to the sage Alassad, “Tell me, I charge you, a tale so wondrous and uplifting that it raises my soul away from the slough of despond in which it lies. I tell you most solemnly, that I can only find pleasure in the stories and fables of yore, of which you have such a marvellous stock.”

The sage Alassad nodded and stroked his white beard. “Great King,” he said, “I have a tale for you so engrossing that if it were written even with grains of sand on a beach, it would still serve as instruction for those who might wish to read."

"What is that tale?" asked the King Bennet.

"Great King, I refer to the saga of the Blessed Saint Vladimir, to whom the world owes so much, and of his confrontation with the Vampire Vavavoom.”

The King Bennet peered at the sage with a bleary eye. “I have never heard of this tale,” he said. “If it be as good as you say, I will reward you handsomely.”

“The pleasure of instructing you in it, O King,” the sage responded, “is its own reward. Very well –“


One day, long ago, the Blessed Saint Vladimir was riding out into the country on his trusty steed, Armata, and carrying in one hand his mighty lance, Topol M. It was a freezing winter day, and the snow lay in drifts on the ground and weighed down the bare branches of the trees, so that most people may have preferred to stay at home. But not Vladimir, who spent his days on the lookout for wrongs to right and maidens to succour.

Now, as everyone knows, those were the days when the world was much troubled by monsters of all kinds, which crawled out of the mists of the past, where they were imagined to have been consigned to history, to plague the people once more. So the Blessed Saint had much to do, and many enemies to vanquish. It was, as you might say, a full-time job.

So it was nothing out of the ordinary when, on this day, the Saint Vladimir saw, running through the forest in fright, a young lady. She had a dress of blue, blood and mud spattered her dainty yellow boots, and she called out piteously as she ran.

The Saint Vladimir turned his trusty mount towards her, and drew up by her side. “Gentle maiden,” he said, “what is it  that sends you screaming with fear through the forest, with your dress of blue as the sky, and your boots that are yellow as the ripening grain?”

 “Oh Blessed One,” the girl faltered, “I am pursued by a monster with a face of iron, in whose heart burns a crooked cross shaped like a hook. Save me!”

A crooked cross? The Saint Vladimir’s thoughts immediately flew back several decades, when such a monster had come roaring out of the West, and laid wastes of the lands all around. For a time it looked like nothing could stop the creature. For a time it looked as though it would take over the entire world, until nothing was left that it had not burnt to ashes in its passing.

But then – and the Saint Vladimir’s blood thrilled at the memory – the monster had come to a place, a holy place on the bank of a river, where the earth and sky and land had joined forces against it with blood and ice and tempered steel. And step by step it had been forced back, beaten back to the west until it had been cornered in its very lair and destroyed by fire. Until now it had seemed that that monster, at least, had been vanquished.

Now, from out of the western wastes, where it had cowered for lo these many years, it had come again.

“Show me where the monster is, Lady,” Saint Vladimir said, gently, lifting her into the saddle behind him. “I will fight it and defeat it, as it was defeated before.” But even the Saint had a qualm in his breast, for he knew the destruction that had to be visited on the world to beat the monster last time, and how much the suffering might be this time round.

Still, it had to be done, and the Saint turned his trusty steed in the direction which the terrified maiden indicated. Gripping his great lance, he urged the mount on.

Soon there was no doubt that they were approaching the monster. There was the smell of burning in the air, and a roaring as of a million throats shrieking in hate. And then, in a rush of flame and smoke, the monster itself appeared, with its iron face and the hooked symbol of evil that burned in its breast.

“Give up the woman,” the creature roared when it saw the Blessed Vladimir. “Give her up to me, vile Vladimir, and flee to your craven hovel, to whimper there in fear until I come to devour you. For the woman, with her dress blue as the sky and her boots like the ripening grain, is mine and mine alone.”

And when he heard this, a great rage rose in the Blessed Saint Vladimir’s indomitable heart. “I will not give over the girl to you,” he said, “for she is innocent and defenceless, and it is for me to save the innocent and defenceless from harm. Furthermore, she has asked for my protection.”

“Then I will destroy her,” the monster of iron and fire roared. It pulled up immense rocks from the ground, and began flinging it at the maiden, attempting to crush the life out of her with one blow.

Then the Saint Vladimir whispered in the ear of his trusty steed, and the mighty mount broke into a gallop. Across the snow and mud thundered the beast Armata, his immense tread smashing the frozen soil. Across the open ground came mighty Armata, inexorable as death itself. Across the land came terrifying Armata, and on his back, Vladimir the Blessed, his lance Topol M held high.

Nothing could stand before that tremendous charge. With a crash that shook the world, Armata smashed into the monster with the face of iron, and his mighty hooves smashed it back on to the ground. Rearing up, Armata raised his hooves, prepared to bring them down in a blow which would destroy the creature once and for all.

The blow did not fall. Shrieking with terror, the monster with the face of iron and the crooked cross of fire on its breast turned and ran.  

It did not run far. Something dropped out of the sky, landed behind the fleeing monster, and stood challenging the Saint Vladimir. It was something in the shape of a woman; something that might once have been a woman, perhaps not altogether displeasing to look upon, but now aged beyond her years, with fangs dripping blood and a cape stained with the gore of those she had devoured.

“Stop, foul Vladimir,” this creature cawed, with a voice that cracked icicles off the roofs and scraped furrows in the earth that bled oil. “Stop, man of evil, and unhand the fair maiden, whom you have so cruelly abducted.”

Saint Vladimir reined in mighty Armata and eyed the fanged woman, who stood with her arms spread wide, her cloak shielding the cowering iron-beast. “Who are you?” he enquired. “And why do you claim that I have abducted this woman, who came by her own accord to me, and begged my protection?”

“I did come to him,” the woman with the dress of blue and boots of yellow said, “and I did ask for his protection from the iron-faced monster there. It’s not true that he abducted me.”

But the fanged woman with the blood-soaked cloak ignored her. “I am Vavavoom,” she said, “who breaks the chains that hold helpless women captive, and sets them free. I. Vavavoom, have liberated women all over the world, and this girl in blue and yellow will be free of you, too. I sent my minion here to free her, but you seem to have defeated him. Not for long though, for I am here to avenge his defeat and set the woman free.”

“Is that so?” Saint Vladimir asked.  “Where then are the maidens you have, as you said, freed? I can only see, in the distance, a row of women shackled by the hands and feet, cowering in cages while inhuman beasts with the eyes of fiends torment them. Surely they cannot be the women whom you claim you set free?” He paused a moment. “And whose blood is it that soaks your cloak, and is dried stiff on it?”       

The fanged vampire called Vavavoom ignored his questions. “You are a force of evil,” she said, “and I am a force for good. Therefore my victory is inevitable. Give up this girl to me, and you may go – for now. Otherwise I shall destroy you.”

Now, as the world knows, Saint Vladimir was not a large man, but was immensely strong and brave as a tiger. He looked at the vampire and thought a moment. “Very well,” he said. “I shall come down from my mount, and meet you in single combat. If you win, and if you can take the woman, she goes with you. If I win, the women in cages behind you, whom you seem not to notice, shall be freed.” Swinging himself out of the saddle, he dropped to the ground, but motioned the maiden to stay where she was.

Seeing her plan thwarted, the vampire ground her fangs in rage. “So we must fight,” she said. “And when I defeat and destroy you, I shall take it all.”

“You will have to defeat and destroy me first,” said Saint Vladimir. Raising Topol M, he rushed at the vampire.

But the vampire was no longer there. She had jumped backwards, and was standing by the cages with the weeping women, her claws extended.

“Come no closer,” she hissed. “Or I will have my imps here tear these women to pieces, one at a time.”

Vladimir looked at the imps, and they leered back at him; creatures with severed heads hanging from their belts, their faces smeared with the blood of those whose hearts they had eaten after killing them. They leered at him and struck at the caged women, causing them to whimper in their agony and distress.

“Watch the women die, Vladimir,” they mocked him, in their voices repellent as the mud below a swamp. “Watch them die, and then we will watch you die, with great pleasure.”

“We shall see about that,” he replied. Leaping past the vampire, he raised his lance and drove it home, smashing one imp after another into the mud. The creatures wailed and screamed, and the demented shrieking of the vampire rose above them in cacophony.

Then, suddenly, all the imps were gone, and the Blessed Vladimir stood facing the vampire Vavavoom.

“You may have destroyed the imps,” Vavavoom whispered, her words like the wind from the north. “But I still have the women captive, and after I kill you I will bathe in their blood.”

“You will have to kill me first,” Vladimir said. “Even if you do succeed, you realise that the combat between us will cause so much damage that the women, and the rest of the world, may be ravaged so badly that there can be no victor?”

But the vampire did not respond to his question; with a fearsome scream, she leaped into the air and threw herself on the Saint Vladimir, her claws reaching out to destroy him.

Now, as always, Vladimir, who scorned armour, was clad down to his hips in the sky, in other words, he had nothing on above the waist at all. The vampire therefore might have imagined that her claws would tear him to pieces; but the Saint moved so quickly that all she did was claw at the empty air.

And then began a combat the likes of which the world has not seen. Vladimir kept moving, quickly and deftly, while the foul vampire threw herself at him, repeatedly, each time almost coming to grips with him and then missing at the last moment. Until there came a time when the evil being was finally totally exhausted, since she had had no opportunity to suck the blood of her captives to sustain herself. Then Vladimir saw that she was helpless, and raised his mighty Topol M to smash it into her breast and end her evil existence, once and for all.

But at the last moment he hesitated. As we all know, the Blessed Saint was as perspicacious as he was bold, as wise as formidable in the fight. And he realised that were he to strike the vampire with his lance, the spasms of the creature’s dying might destroy the caged maidens, who were watching the battle with desperate and piteous hope in their eyes.

“Go,” he said harshly. “Go, and never return to plague the world. Or I shall drive the tip of this lance through your heart, without regard of the consequences.”

“Very well,” snarled the vampire. “I go, but I shall return. Someday, when I have battened on fresh blood from my lair across the seas, I shall come back. And then I shall kill you all.” With a howl, she rose up into the air and flapped away.

“Come, ladies,” Vladimir said. “Cease wailing, for I have come to set you free. I know you have paid a terrible price, but rejoice, for you will never be chained again.” And he broke the cages, and struck the fetters from their hands and feet. Then, taking up Topol M, he strode back to where he had left Armata and the woman with the dress of blue and boots of grain yellow. And when he saw them, he stopped in surprise.

While the Saint Vladimir had been fighting the foul vampire Vavavoom, the monster with the face of iron and the crooked cross burning on its breast had not been idle. Seeing its chance, it had thrown itself on the maiden, thinking to steal her away and tear her to pieces while the blessed man was fighting elsewhere.

It had reckoned without the woman herself, and with Armata.

So when the Saint Vladimir returned, the shattered, mangled corpse of the monster lay under the feet of the mighty mount, Armata, and the girl with the dress of blue and boots of yellow sat triumphant on his back. And when she saw Vladimir, it was difficult to say who smiled with more glory on whom.


The sage Alassad came to the end of his tale. “The maiden and the saint lived side by side after that,” he said. “And the other women, who were saved from their cages, healed little by little. But it was a terrible time, and it took long, long for the world to recover.”

The King Bennet looked at the saint, and his face was like stone. “What about the vampire Vavavoom?” he asked. “What about that foul creature?”

The saint shook his hoary head. “No doubt the harridan still sucks the blood of the hapless people of her own land,” he said. “Someday, perhaps, if the blood she has sucked gives her back the strength, she shall return to wage war on the world again. But, hopefully, that day is still far.”

“Be it ever so far,” the king said, “we must prepare, as of this day. We must ensure that the victory the Saint Vladimir won is not thrown away due to our own carelessness.” And he rose to give the orders.

And, meanwhile, a blood-coloured cloud began to gather over a distant land across the western seas.

Times of trouble were coming.

Copyright B Purkayastha 2015

Wednesday, 25 February 2015

On Google's New Anti-Adult Material Policy

Those of us who have Blogger accounts will know by now that Google – the owner of the Blogspot platform – has “changed its policy” on a certain burning topic of the day.

So as of the 23rd March of 2015, people who have Blogspot accounts won’t be able to display photos and videos of this very, very divisive and controversial topic, not even if behind a warning page, in public.

I’m sure we’re all very thankful to Google for this action on our collective behalf, of course; but what exactly is it that they’re protecting us from?

Is it, let’s say, gun-worship and proponents of unrestricted firearms ownership? No? Well, is it at least against racism and Islamophobia? Has Google banned cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad with a bomb for a turban or naked with his posterior in the air? No, too? Has then Google banned, say, photographs and videos cheerleading imperial wars of aggression on the far side of the planet? What do you mean, also no?

So what is this topic which is so divisive, so controversial, so abhorrent that Google has decided to wipe it off the face of that part of the earth it controls?

 I’ll just let the website state it in its own words:

Starting March 23, 2015, you won't be able to publicly share images and video that are sexually explicit or show graphic nudity on Blogger. [1]

Which is, actually, a 180 degree reversal of its previous stand, which was:

"Censoring this content is contrary to a service that bases itself on freedom of expression." [2]

But there you have it. It’s sex and nudity that Google has suddenly decided it doesn’t like. Of course that’s totally understandable. I mean to say, sex, the tender and beautiful activity without which none of us – including the people who run Google – would be in this world. How can one not ban it? And nudity, the state in which we enter said world and in which state we all are, under our clothes.

How could Google not ban these two terrible things, I say?!??

Meanwhile, of course, Google is perfectly happy to let, for instance, people set up multiple and anonymous accounts on its social network, Google Plus. Now on the topic of allowing net anonymity, I am a bit of a fanatic – I am totally, absolutely and without reservation against it. My stance is clear; allowing people to be anonymous online merely opens the door to trolling, lying, cheating, bullying, and spreading propaganda. If people aren’t willing to use their real names online, they should stay away from the net. If that inconveniences them, well, that’s just too bad.

Let me make this point: anyone’s “right” to online privacy ends at the very point where everybody else’s right not to be bullied or lied to begins. There is more than enough evidence that online anonymity strongly reinforces and promotes bullying and trolling [3]  [4].  Also, as the respective levels of trolling on Facebook – which has adopted an uncompromising anti-anonymity policy – and Google Plus, which explicitly uses its policy of allowing fake accounts as part of its USP – show, anonymity breeds trolling, lying, and spreading propaganda. But Google is fine with that. Just as it is with the fact that Google Plus, for example, has a page run by ISIS (yes, that ISIS) which repeated reports asking for action has done nothing to remove.

Yes, as you might have noticed, I am feeling a mite miffed about Google.

Not that Google is completely against nudity, of course. It does realise that there are situations in which nudity just might have to be shown. Therefore:

We’ll still allow nudity if the content offers a substantial public benefit, for example in artistic, educational, documentary, or scientific contexts. [1]

So, assuming we aren’t discussing vaginal anatomy, we can still get away with nudity as long as it offers “substantial public benefit”. What the hell is “substantial public benefit”? Who decides what it is? Google?

Let me say right now that this doesn’t particularly affect me, because the sum total of sexuality and/or nudity on my blog is restricted to a couple of paintings, one of which is by me, and a few photographs of the Venus of Willendorf. At least I think it doesn’t affect me, since nobody has ever suggested that the Venus of Willendorf is obscene, unless it’s ISIS and Google is obviously fine with ISIS. Also, Google has not contacted me like it apparently has done with other people.

However, the fact that I have not yet been directly contacted does not mean that my blog won’t suddenly be made private and restricted to members only on 23rd March. I mean, I’ve used the word “sex” many, many times, and

Currently, Blogger blogs marked as "adult" include LGBT and "outsider sexuality" diaries, erotic writers, transgender activists, romance book editors and reviewers, sex toy reviewers, art nude photographers, film-makers, artists such as painters and comic illustrators, text-only fiction writers, sex news and porn gossip writers, LGBT sex activism, sex education and information outlets, fetish fashion, feminist porn blogs, and much, much more [2]

Besides, censorship is a slippery slope. Once Google has begun censoring one thing, how long till it censors another? How long before those of us who have anything to say that Google doesn’t like are banned? That Google doesn’t care much about our concerns is clear, About a year ago, I lost a huge number of photographs and cartoons on my site, and repeated complaints to Google did nothing to even elicit a response, let alone resolve the issue.

Even though Google will be kind enough not to delete existing blogs which have nudity and/or sex, this is virtually a death sentence, since

Restricting blogs which contain explicit content to ‘private only’ effectively kills them off. This is like offering a library where all the books in it are invisible to the readers unless an author is standing there and personally hands each reader a copy of their book [5]

I have to say, of course, that Google has a right to change its policies if it wants. It can turn round and say this, or that, is displeasing to it, and therefore is banned henceforth. It can do all that, and those of us who use its services have no choice but to grin and bear it.

Or we can leave. Vote with our virtual feet.

So here is the problem. I have already moved my online home twice in my life, from Orkut to Multiply in 2006, which was relatively easy because I had little content online back then, and from Multiply to Blogger in 2012, which was a much more difficult and painstaking procedure. Each time I started off new and had to slowly build up a readership, which in the case of Blogger is still very poor. On Multiply, any one of my articles would elicit perhaps twenty to a hundred or more comments. On Blogger, I’m lucky to get two, and amazed if I achieve five.

However, I am seriously beginning to consider moving again. If I do, I will not, ever again, trust my online creations to a third party host. I’d rather have my own website where I, and nobody else, set the terms of service. I had considered that in the past and the only reason I had not done so was the fact that it would be too expensive (I priced how much it would cost, both as a first time expense and as a recurring yearly rental, which, of course, I don’t have to pay on Google). The time is coming, though, where there might no longer be a choice about that.

So if on 23rd March you find this blog inaccessible, that means Google has attacked it, even though there’s nothing in it to attack. Too bad, but there’s going to be nothing I can do about it.

Until then, aux barricades, mes amis.


Meanwhile, here’s a photo that should be totally acceptable to Google, just for you.

Oh, wait, her feet are showing, So sorry about that.